Ladybug Studio

Happy Halloween!

I was wrong about the weather. Actually, the weather man was wrong about the weather. It was supposed to rain today and tonight. Even during the news at lunch he was spouting off about rain. But it's turning out to be a beautiful day. There's not a cloud in the sky. It's still very windy, but that just keeps it feeling more comfortable, otherwise it's leaning toward the warm side.

I wish I could spend the rest of the day outside enjoying it. But I am having a pedicure right after work and then going to the rehab facility to visit Dad. He was transferred there yesterday. Joy oversaw the process and got him settled into his room with his television and some other necessary items. Glenna reported in that he ate nearly all of his lunch today, so that's progress. I doubt he'll eat much tonight. Though one of the hospital nurses said that if he eats a good breakfast and lunch, that should be okay for his amount of activity.

As far as the evening goes, I guess Tom and I will have to go out or hide from the trick-or-treaters. We've done that before, actually. If we keep the lights off and watch TV in the bedroom, no one will know that we are being Halloween Scrooges. Bah humbug!

Denise - great idea about the treat bags. Too late now, but maybe for next year…

Grinch

I haven't decided what to do about Halloween. I kind of want to go somewhere, maybe out to dinner, so that we aren't home when the kiddies troll the neighborhood for treats. I know that's pretty grinch-like of me, but it's really annoying handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters. For one thing, our storm door is a problem. It opens out, while the main door opens in. So the kids are all crowded around the door and I have to almost literally push them backwards in order to open the door. Then there's actually handing out the candy. I find it incredibly stressful. How much do I give each kid? Is one piece too chintzy? If I give everyone a handful, will I run out of candy before the end of the evening? And they all crowd and push and they're in such a rush to get their candy and run on to the next house. The teenagers make me nervous and what do you do about the ones who aren't even wearing a costume?

Yeah, I think I've pretty much talked myself out of giving out candy. :: shudder ::

We are having some nasty weather lately. Rain, wind, gusts. It's really ugly outside. Come to think of it, Halloween might not be much of an issue if the weather continues like this. I don't even care that I'm missing out on tennis. I'd just as soon go straight home after work.

What I imagine I'll do though, if/when doubles is rained out this afternoon, is go visit Dad at the rehab facility. As of yesterday, the plan was to move him there today. Joy is overseeing the transfer so I'll know more when I hear from her later.

He at least seemed to be talking a little and interested in watching TV when she called me yesterday. That's an improvement over Sunday. He's still too weak to walk, but we're hoping that he'll do better in rehab.

Not So Bad, And Very Bad

Okay. After all of the whining about CFW, I felt better about rehearsal than I expected to. I didn't play as terribly as I could have, though there are some trouble spots I definitely need to work on at home. I also enjoyed spending time with my french horn.

It's been such a part of my life for so long, it's almost a physical part of me. Maybe like something small, a pinkie finger or a toe. Something I could lose without a huge affect on my daily life, but I wouldn't be truly complete without it.

I'm still not loving the music, especially the really, really long saxophone concerto. Which is also quite difficult and includes a couple of places where I'd better be counting correctly as I'm the only one that comes in there. Bleh. Of all pieces to be playing first part. Now, I would much rather play first on the Persichetti (Divertimento for Band, Op. 42). There are two movements that are making me crazy, because the woman playing first can't play the part as well as I could. Now, let me explain. She's a very good player, better than me technically and has a stronger high range as well. But these two parts are solo parts and they need someone who can play pretty. I can play the hell out of pretty. My tone is quite lovely, though I have to give some of the credit to my horn itself. It naturally has a nice, full sound.

But alas, it's too late to start making changes. And as no one, including the conductor, has suggested that having me playing the part would be preferable, I would feel quite out of place to mention it.

Usually our rehearsals are from 10:00-1:00. But for some reason, this last rehearsal was from 2:00-5:00. I suggested to Tom that he drive down to Melbourne and meet me at the mall, then we could have dinner somewhere together. We ended up eating at Shell's, which is what I had planned all along. I have been craving my new favorite dish, Shrimp Mezzo Mezzo: shrimp, mushrooms and penne past in a blend of tomato sauce and garlic white wine cream sauce. Absolutely delicious. So delicious in fact, I was able to forgive our waitress for never bringing my salad and forgetting the side of garlic bread. I guess I didn't need so much food. But I really wanted the salad and I wasn't sure at what point to mention it to the waitress. I didn't want to be pushy, but just as I really started to consider saying something, she dropped off our entrees. Oh well. I didn't leave the restaurant hungry by any means (I even took home half of my meal), but was still a little disappointed.

My filthy dirty little car got a cleaning yesterday. But it wouldn't have happened without Tom's help. When I started the work it seemed like a good idea. A bit cloudy, but not bad. By the time I finished washing the wheels and had gotten all of the bugs off of the front, things had changed quite a bit. Heavy, menacing rain clouds were moving in quickly. Rats! Just in the nick of time, Tom came out to lend me a hand. He had been watching TV, checked the radar and saw what was coming our way. Between the two of us, we got the entire car clean in about five minutes. Next, I pulled it into the garage for drying. We spent a lot of time wiping off every drop of water, getting into all of the nooks and crannies. Tom went all around the car, practically with a magnifying glass, looking for tiny spots to polish out while I cleaned all of the windows and Rain-Xed the windshield. Mac is perfectly perfect now. Too clean to drive in fact.

Update on Dad:
Well, the news is not good. He is not better. In fact, he is worse. I saw him on Friday, but he slept the whole time I was there. I visited him on Sunday and was dismayed to find him weaker than when he went into the hospital. His behavior reminded me a lot of his incident in June. As soon as I walked into the room and greeted him he started trying to get out of bed, pulling his gown off, fussing and complaining. The nurse and the CNA tried to help him, but he was terribly uncooperative and kept cussing at them. They got him into a chair and I tried to get him to eat some lunch. He only had two bites, then was struggling to get back to the bed. Once he was tucked back into bed, he immediately fell asleep.

The hospital has wifi, so I entertained myself with my iPhone. I checked my email and did some internet surfing. After watching about 15 minutes of Aladdin, I decided that he was down for a while, so I left.

The worse news is that his cancer has spread. I'm not sure on the details, whether it has just spread within the liver or if it has spread to other organs. At any rate, it would take a pretty aggressive chemo to battle his cancer and we know that he just can't take that. I don't know what the prognosis is or how much time he might have. Back in July when he started seeing a new, local oncologist, Joy asked how much time he would have if he didn't do the treatments. At that time the answer was around six months. I don't see him having six months from now. He is just so very weak. And honestly, from what I've seen and from discussions with Glenna, I really think Dad has given up. He asks about Mom quite frequently and I think he wants to be with her now.

Good Sleep

It was wonderful to sleep in my own bed last night. With my totally awesome Temper-Pedic pillow, my teddy bear and, of course, Tom. And since I went to bed at the same time as him, I was able to fall asleep before the snoring started. Score!

He used to be such a quiet sleeper. I would occasionally have to nudge him to make sure he was still alive. But now - completely different story. It's his meds. They make him a happier, calmer person during the day and help him get a good night's rest. While I grudgingly admit that's much better for everyone, it still irks me that I have to go to bed when he does if I want to sleep in our comfortable bed.

* * * * *

We have a Central Florida Winds concert coming up the weekend after this and I am so not into it this time. Can I whine for a moment?

I don't want to play and I don't want to practice. I don't like the music and I'm sick of doing a saxophone (hiss!) concerto on every performance. I resent having to miss Saturday tennis and give up a portion of my weekend for rehearsal. I hate the rehearsal schedule, especially next weekend when we will have a rehearsal on Saturday and then the concert on Sunday. Wah!

Thank you.

But seriously. When I first started playing with CFW I was thrilled. It's such a talented group of people. There are only 2-3 concerts a year so there's no need for a weekly rehearsal. I enjoyed the music and found the programs to be slightly challenging, yet satisfying.

I don't know what the problem is now. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's them. I really wish I wasn't playing in the upcoming concert, but I've made a commitment and I have to see it through.

Okay. Part of the reason I enjoyed playing was because I knew it made Mom and Dad proud. Especially Mom. But she's gone now and it doesn't seem likely that Dad will be attending the concert. I know there will be an audience of appreciative people, but without my own peeps cheering me on, it doesn't seem worth doing.

Sleepless Night

I slept three feet away from a grandfather clock last night. A big loud one that chimes every fifteen minutes, so it was more or less a series of catnaps. In addition to the chiming, I also heard cars driving by on the busy street, sprinklers coming on in the middle of the night, the newspaper being delivered and a myriad of other nighttime sounds. It was not restful, to say the least.

The clock is located in my father's living room and I spent the night on the couch next to it. Joy slept in the room that used to be mine, across from the bathroom. We were on night vigil, in case Dad fell getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Generally, this is not a cause for concern, but last night, it was.

Here's the background:

Joy and I had arranged to meet at Dad's house yesterday afternoon. We had been getting reports from Glenna that he wasn't eating much, had lost his hearing aids and was generally cantankerous. I'm not exactly sure what we had hoped to accomplish now, but it was a good thing we went over there.

Without going into tremendous detail which could turn this post into a novel, I'll cut to the chase and say that Dad was extremely weak. Very probably from the chemo treatment he had received the day before. He couldn't walk without help, but refused to go to the hospital, despite our pleading, begging, reasoning and I'll admit, a little yelling. Joy and I tried to get him back to his bed, but after he slumped to the floor next to the bed and we could not get him up again, we gave up and called 911.

We figured this was our best chance to get him into the hospital. But, it didn't work either. The EMTs could find no medical reason to insists that he be taken. Dad adamantly refused to go and they could not force him. Glenna was freaking out about staying there alone with him (um, hello, "caretaker"?) so Joy said she would stay. Well, I couldn't let her do it all by herself. She does so much more than anyone as it is. So I stayed too. Which is how I ended up spending the long night next to the grandfather clock in the living room.

Like I said, there's a lot of detail that's being left out or I would be writing all day. And you would have quit reading a long time ago. But I want to mention that he was experiencing delirium just like when he had his concussion in June. He was rattling on about stuff that made no sense, asking where Mom was and when would she be home. I asked him how old he was and he said 15. He lapsed in and out of this state of mind several times.

There is a somewhat happy ending to the story though. Joy took Dad to see his doctor this morning and the doctor was able to convince Dad that he really needed to be in the hospital. She is in the process of doing that now. I am praying that once he gets some hydration and nutrition, he will get stronger and be able to live at home again. Also, the doctor thinks Dad should suspend the chemo treatments for a while. He thinks that might be the root of all of the problems with his weakness and his loss of appetite.

I think it's time to consider quality, rather than quantity.

We're Home

We made it home safely yesterday. Though the trip took a lot longer than it should have, between rain and crazy traffic in the Jacksonville area. From north Jax where 295 splits off from 95 to the middle of town where I-10 splits off, it took over an hour. Inch, stop, inch, stop, on and on and on. Ugh. It was truly terrible.

I'm spending the day at home -- I always take the day off after a travel day. I should use this extra time wisely. There's still unpacking to do, laundry to wash, freelance to design, a dirty house to clean… but I think I'm more inclined to laze around and soak up this last day of vacation.

Oh - I posted two more entries before this one. Scroll down to read…

Sunday: Day Three

Our second and last day of mountain biking. We were in a quandary this morning about where to ride. We had already ridden DuPont and we wanted to ride some where different. We strongly considered driving over to Tsali, but the trip is about 1 hour 45 minutes and we really didn't want to spend half of the day on the road. So we chose a couple of trails in the Pisgah National Forest.

We figured we would ride North Slope first, then after lunch try another trail starting from the same parking lot. Well, North Slope didn't turn out to be so great. Tom enjoyed it more than I did. It began with a heck of a lot of uphill, including a "hike-a-bike" section with water break logs. It was practically vertical, I swear. My lungs were coming out of my chest and my legs were burning from all of the riding the day before. Finally the trail started going downhill and that was much better, but it was technical in a lot of spots, which I was uncomfortable with. Fast downhill + rocks + roots + steep drop off just a few feet away = scary stuff!

We ate lunch in the parking lot and discussed our options. Coming to the conclusion that we'd had a lot more fun riding at DuPont, we loaded up the bikes and headed back there to ride the second half of the day. We started at the Fawn Lake trailhead and enjoyed ourselves much more than we had at Pisgah. Though there was still a ton of climbing, naturally, it was not so technical and I spent more time riding the bike than pushing it.

One dumb thing - we started climbing straight from the parking lot, so we fully expected a downhill back at the end of the ride. Somehow, that just didn't happen and I'm still confused about it. How can it be uphill both ways?

We went back to the barbecue place for dinner. We both got ribs again, but this time with chicken. I thought the chicken was better than the ribs, personally. Though my favorite was the french fries. They're lightly battered, or something, and so crisp and yummy! Tom was thrilled to find a restaurant offering decaffeinated sweet iced tea. That's his favorite beverage, but he can't have it after 2:00 or he'll be up all night.

So we're both absolutely exhausted, stuffed with fabulous food and ready for bed. The fun vacation time is over. After this we have to pack, load up and drive back to flat Florida, palmetto bushes, mosquitos, sugar sand and humidity.

Saturday: Day Two

At last, we were able to participate in the activity that brought us here. The weather was beautiful, not a cloud to be seen. The skies were a gorgeous clear blue and the reds, oranges and yellows of the leaves were stunning. We rode at DuPont State Forest today, starting at the Lake Imaging Trailhead. We tried out this trialhead last year. It's pretty popular with the horse people and there generally aren't many bikers there. But we prefer it because our favorite trail, Jim Branch Trail, ends a short distance from the parking area. We found this trail by accident and it's the Best. Trail. Ever.

Seriously, it's so much fun that it's actually worth the climb uphill to get to the beginning of it. The trail swoops downhill, with quick sweeping turns. Occasionally we had to peddle, but not very often. It's smooth and fast. Tom left me behind pretty quickly, but I'm sure I was cooking along myself.

All in all we rode for about 3.5 hours. This was not steady riding though. There were lots of stops to catch our breath and consult the trail map. Our goal was to ride a circuitous route, hitting a lot of different trails, ending with a whooping ride down Jim Branch Trail.

After showering and changing back at the cabin, I left Tom to his own devices while I drove into town. There were a few places I wanted to visit and I figured Tom could use some alone time. (read: nap time) It was actually pretty nice to be driving myself somewhere without having to worry about anyone else. I drove at my own pace (slower than Tom but not poky) with a window down and classical music on the radio.

I stopped by Poppies, a farmer's market. But it wasn't what I expected and I don't think it was much of a farmer's market. It was more or less a gourmet and organic grocery store. Probably if I lived in Brevard I would shop there on occasion, but just visiting, I didn't find anything to buy. Next I went to Ingles to use their free wireless internet. I posted an entry and checked my email. Nothing critical going on, which was a relief.

Tom and I ate our Italian leftovers for dinner and spent the evening vegging out with our various activities (him: American LeMans series on Speed channel. Me: journaling and working in my puzzle book)

Interesting sights we've seen:
On Friday, as we got close to downtown, I saw a white squirrel! Totally white, goofing around just like any squirrel. Cool!

Also on Friday, driving back to the cabin after meeting Ann for dinner, a deer crossed the road a bit ahead of us. At first I thought it was a dog, but it was a doe.

Today we saw about 20 BMW Z3s cruising down the highway. Every color possible, tops down, everyone enjoying the gorgeous day. It looked like so much fun!

Friday: Day One

Our first day in the mountains and it's raining. Sadly, I'm not surprised. It rains every time I come to North Carolina, I swear. They've been in an absolute drought this month. Water restrictions, the whole nine yards. The day I arrive? Rain at last! I'm thinking about hiring myself out as a rain dancer.

The trip up was uneventful. We made good time, too, arriving at our cabin in nine hours. That includes stopping for lunch and gas. I drove the first four hours, until we reached the second Pooler exit. And since I was driving, I chose Chick-fil-A for lunch. Tom drove the rest of the way while I navigated. We had a GPS connected to Tom's laptop and the route we mapped out was apparently a good one. Having the GPS was really helpful, too. The interstate stuff was easy enough, but we had to weave a little through areas outside of Greenville, which could have been very confusing.

The cabin is wonderful, as expected. All four of the Big Branch Cabins are the same layout, just decorated differently. We're staying in The Laurels this time and it's more flowery and frilly than the other two we've stayed in. But it's comfortable and has every accommodation we could possibly want.

After unloading the Kia in a slight drizzle yesterday afternoon, Tom and I headed into town to eat dinner and visit a grocery store. Going into town is quite a trip, actually. It takes ten minutes on a fairly twisty mountain road just to get from our cabin to the main highway, 276. Then another ten minutes to get to Brevard. We cruised all the way through to the other side of town to eat at Hawg Wild Barbecue. Last year we ate there on our last night and it was delicious. My thought was that we should eat there our first night, in case we wanted to go back again. Their baby back ribs are wonderful. I don't usually order ribs because I'm prissy about getting my fingers smeared with sauce. But I didn't hesitate this time and it was well worth it.

With shopping list in hand, we went to Ingles. It's a pretty nice store, though the layout always confuses me. We tried to hurry along as we were both exhausted from the trip. Here's something that aggravated me though. Remembering our shopping experience at Ingles last year, I brought a few things that I couldn't find there: Weight Watchers vanilla yogurt and International Delight vanilla hazelnut creamer. Ingles now carries both. The one thing I did not bring, because surely I could find it at any grocery store was my Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. They did not have any. Rats. So I had to buy the store brand, which I was pretty skeptical about. It's not bad, but I can tell a difference.

We spent the morning just lazing around. I watched the pilot episode of Women's Murder Club on my laptop and solved some puzzles in my variety puzzle magazine. Then we both got dressed and went into town, heading straight to Backcountry Outdoors. It's a wonderful outfitter and bicycle shop. We browsed around for a while, but sadly didn't find anything to buy. I usually go crazy in that store.

The weather appeared to be clearing up and our plan was to go back to the cabin for lunch, then load up the bikes and head for the nearest trail at Dupont State Forest. But as we got closer, the skies started to look gloomy and gray. It was drizzling again by the time we pulled up to The Laurels.

Mountain biking was officially out for the day. On to our backup plan. Which was to eat lunch, laze around for a bit, then go to Asheville to visit Liberty Bicycles. It's a nice sized store with lots of bikes and bicycling gear. The employees are friendly and a lot of them bring their dogs with them to work. There were two at the shop this time. Dogs, not employees. We wandered around the shop for a long time, but didn't find much to buy. That's the problem with having a hobby for a long time - there's nothing left to buy. I love when something new comes along and there's much shopping to be done.

Well, anyway, after the bike shop, Tom and I met up with Ann and she took us to a great little Italian restaurant called Iannucci's. The food was really wonderful. The portions were quite generous, too, so we'll be able to stay in one night and eat the leftovers. I felt bad for Ann, driving all the way over just for dinner, but she assured me that it was only about an hour and fifteen minutes. Our drive was considerably less and we were back in the cozy cabin in under an hour. Tom drove, which probably made a difference. I'm a bit of a wimp about driving on twisty roads at night, but not Tom. Driving is one of his greatest talents and he loves mountain roads.

What a Weekend!

Oh my good God. It was busy and eventful and startling and painful and fun and scary and heart pounding. Sounds like a block buster movie, doesn't it? Well, sorry, it wasn't that great, but there's still a lot to tell.

It all started bright and early Saturday morning, a sunny, dry day guaranteed to be perfect for tennis. I got to the courts right at 8:30 and immediately joined some of my favorite tennis friends for a doubles set. After four sets with various players, I was gathering my stuff getting ready to leave when Mary Ann, assuming that I was still playing, lined me up with another set. Since there were only the three people and no one else to fill in, I agreed to play one more set. This turned out to be a bad idea. My partner happened to be a guy who hits really hard. I figured being on the same side of the net as him would be better than facing off against him. I was wrong. He was serving and I was facing the net, ready to spring into action as soon as the ball was returned by the opposing team. Suddenly I was positively drilled in the back of the head by his serve. Wham!

I was so completely shocked that I just stood there for a moment before collapsing into a heap on the court. Everyone came running to check on me, offering me ice, asking if I was okay. That part was kind of nice, knowing what a great group of people I play tennis with every week. But the knock to the head, not so much. However, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. There was a sore spot, but no bump, and I was able to get up and finish out the set. (what a trooper, eh?)

After a quick shower (and a couple of pain relievers) I went to visit Dad and feed him a nice, filling lunch. He still isn't eating as much as he should, but he always eats well when I fix something for him. I had some of Ann's spaghetti sauce in the freezer so I thawed that out, cooked some noodles and some garlic bread. We ate lunch together while watching a college football game. (I can't even remember who was playing) Dad enjoyed it and ate everything I had put on his plate. I just wish I had the time to fix meals for him more often.

Once home again I seriously considered taking a nap. After all, I had gotten up so early (6:00 am) and after that tennis ball incident… but then I started to feel guilty about wasting precious time. I strapped on my iPod (more spooky book!) and headed out to tackle some yard work. For the most part, things were going well. I got the second topiary trimmed up to match the first and didn't have any trouble until I was hacking away at the robellini palm and felt a sharp pain on my wrist. At first, I thought I had gotten stabbed by one of the many nasty thorns on the fronds. But no, it was a wasp. Apparently, the survivors of the topiary nest were trying to relocate to the robellini and I ran right into them. Ouch!

After that incident, I was done with yard work for the day. Tom and I had some errands to run anyway so we cleaned up and hopped into the convertible, enjoying the feel of the fresh air blowing around us. But not for long. Rain clouds were gathering to the south so I pulled over and put the top back up. Rats. We visited Bed, Bath and Beyond, Target and Wal-Mart, then had dinner at Ruby Tuesday. Tom loves their burgers. When given his choice of area restaurants, 9 times out of 10, he will pick Ruby Tuesday. That's generally fine with me because they have one of the best salad bars around and a wonderful crab cake appetizer.

On the way back home from dinner we decided to take the top down again, as it appeared that the rain was over. Not three minutes down the road, I swear, it started raining again. Double rats. Up went the top again and there it stayed.

Ah. Sunday morning. My favorite weekend morning. It's the day that I sleep in a bit, then drink an extra half a cup of coffee while perusing the sales ads and clipping coupons. However, the usually peaceful morning did not start out that way this time. As I went out the front door in pursuit of the newspaper, something fell from the sky and brushed my arms on its way down. Naturally I screamed. For a split second I thought it was the silly gecko who's been hanging around the front door, creeping me out. But it wasn't. It was a snake. A small one, but still a snake. I gaped at it, paralyzed, then came to my senses and slammed the front door before it could get in.

Looking back, I doubt it had any interest in getting in the house. It was probably more scared than me, having been happily sleeping above the door until the rude awakening. I can tell you too that I feel bad about what we did next. Yes, we killed the snake. Well, actually, Tom killed the snake. But I was just as much a party to it as him. But it had a sort of diamond-like pattern of gray and black. Neither of us knows a thing about snakes and didn't want to take any chances of it being venomous. I have since learned that it was probably a corn snake or a rat snake. My apologies to any readers who are snake lovers (Krista) or just nature people in general. There's a place in hell for Tom and I. And there will be snakes.