Ladybug Studio

Making Plans

I feel a lot better about Dad going home next week, and I owe it all to Hospice. I've always heard what a wonderful organization they are and I know they helped a lot with my mother. But now that I'm dealing with them personally, I have a greater appreciation for their care and support.

Joy and I spent all of yesterday working out the details of bringing Dad back home. We started with a meeting with his oncologist. Though we didn't learn as much from him as I had hoped. Basically, he agreed that Dad likely has less than six months and that Hospice would be our best choice. I know it's hard for anyone to know or even guess how long a person will live, but I was hoping for a better estimate than that.

There was time for a lunch break before our meeting with Hospice, so we went to Pumpernickel's. I had my usual sandwich - Virginia ham and swiss cheese on pumpernickel with a side of coleslaw. They serve the best coleslaw… it has green peppers in it, which is unusual. But the peppers flavor it nicely, as long as I don't actually bite into one.

After lunch, we went to Hospice of St. Francis and met with a social worker, Pauline. She asked questions, listened to our concerns and then offered more help than we were expecting. All necessary equipment is provided, so a hospital bed with trapeze and a wheelchair will be delivered on Friday. A nurse will go to the home and bathe Dad 3-4 times a week. Another nurse will take care of anything medical, including his colostomy needs, several times a week. They are available 24/7 and if Glenna runs into any problems, all she has to do is call. Hospice also has volunteers who will sit with Dad so that she can have time for herself, to get her hair done, run errands, etc.

Naturally, Joy and I will do as much as we can. But we do have to work and we would like to sleep in our own homes, so we were relieved to hear about the caregiver assistance.

Now there is much to do to get the house ready. We need to clear out my old bedroom for the hospital bed and some furniture needs to be moved/removed to accommodate the wheelchair. But it's coming together and we'll be ready for Monday.

I just pray that things will go okay once he is home.

Running Around

Although I had to drag my butt to tennis yesterday, I'm glad I did. Becky and Erica were both there so some of the heat was off of me. We had a pretty good lesson and I got to run around a lot, which always makes me happy. I'm sure that sounds strange, but I like it for some reason. Maybe because I feel like I'm really getting some exercise, but also because I'm fairly decent at hitting on the run. It's always fun to do something I'm good at.

So I felt pleased for a change as I headed home after the lesson. Then I got stuck in a traffic jam. (in Merritt Island! Who knew?)

What a Turkey of a Holiday

It's always tough coming back from a long weekend. I was really getting used to the scene, going to bed a little later each night, sleeping a little later each day. So 5:00 am was a rude shock this morning. I can't say it was the best holiday weekend ever, but it still beats the usual routine.

What's funny to me though is that I did not eat any turkey. Nor did I eat any ham, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie or any of the usual Thanksgiving foods. It was a very non-traditional holiday and I was fine with that. This whole year has been a big mess and I had no interest in trying to deny it. The problem sister is still an issue and my father's health is a huge concern. Matter of fact, right now it's the Big Black Cloud hanging over our heads.

We have been dealing with a crisis since Tuesday afternoon. Joy had a meeting with the financial office at the rehab center where she was given the astounding news that our father has been declared non-rehabilitative and will be discharged on December 3rd (that's after the week extension she talked them into). Because he earns (through retirement and social security) $400 more than the allowed $1800 per month, Medicaid will not pay to keep him at a rehab or nursing center. But he doesn't get anywhere near the minimum of $5000 a month it would cost for him to stay in any decent nursing facility.

So he will have to go back home to live.

Glenna has agreed to give it a try, taking care of him at home. She took care of my mother until her death, but my mother was much easier to handle than my father. Part of the problem, we believe, is his dementia. He thinks he can walk and get around, but he's still too weak. So he might try to do something and fall before she can stop him.

We've got some work to do before next Monday. Chiefly, getting the house ready to accommodate a wheelchair by moving furniture and building a couple of small ramps. The plan is to get a hospital bed and put it in my old bedroom, which is across the hall from the bathroom. That's what they did for Mom and it seemed to work fairly well. Though of course we are expecting resistance from Dad.

Tomorrow, Joy and I have an appointment with Dad's oncologist. We need to hear what he says after a review of the latest scan. Apparently the cancer was growing despite the chemo treatments. Now that the treatments have stopped, we naturally expect the cancer to grow more rapidly. It will help to get an idea of how much time Dad might have left. Then we have an appointment with Hospice. We'll see what kind of assistance they can offer and hopefully get some of the equipment (bed, wheelchair) that Dad will need through them. Then, depending on what we learn at the oncologist's office, we have an appointment with a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law to look into the Medicare situation. It should be a very informative day.

As I'm sure you can see, my whole weekend was rather consumed with Dad and his situation. If I wasn't on the phone with Joy or Ann, discussing it, I was talking to Tom about it. And if I wasn't talking about it I was thinking about it. I realized just how stressed I'm becoming when I snapped at Dad on Saturday night. I felt bad about it afterward. Poor thing, he really has no idea what's happening and is mentally incapable of of easing the burden.

But there were some brights spots scattered here and there during the four-day weekend. The biggest of which was getting together with two very dear friends for a lunch and chat yesterday. Becky, Carolyn and I have known each other since elementary school. We were practically inseparable for many years. Our favorite thing in the world to do was laugh and joke. Though we were basically good kids, we did spend a lot of time in trouble for excessive talking. My conduct grades, usually perfect, plummeted after the three of us became friends. My mom didn't care and I don't think theirs did either. Amazingly, we all live within a few hours of each other, yet we haven't gotten together since high school. We have vowed to keep in closer touch. I truly hope that we follow through on that.

Stressful Times

I missed doubles tennis last night. This was only the second time in a year and a half that I didn't play. The first time was when Dad went into the hospital in June. Yesterday was because of a headache. I had a nagging pain throughout the day and it turned into a migraine. I have no idea why I didn't take some pain medication when it first started. Experience should have told me what would happen. But I continued to ignore it until much too late. I was able to get a sub, so I didn't leave the others on my court hanging. And it was actually nice to go home after work, even though I was going home to sleep off the pain.

I'm having a hard time with tennis lately. I spoke yesterday about how terribly I've been playing, but it's more than that. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with tennis. The time it takes, along with everything else, is becoming exhausting. I think it's stress from the Dad Situation. Which is only going to get worse.

I'm also attributing stress to my weight gain and my inability to get myself back on program. It's like I don't care, yet I know I do. Eating right and everything involved with it is just too much to deal with. Thinking back on the past year, when I was losing weight and feeling good coordinates with when life was less stressful and happier.

Everyone deals with stress differently, I know. I tend to soothe myself with comfort food, fuzzy socks and a warm blanket. I am blessedly able to, for the most part, turn off my thoughts and go to sleep with ease. But Joy, for instance, does not sleep well at all and has no appetite. So she loses weight. I wouldn't mind if I lost my appetite, really, but I wouldn't want to give up the ability to sleep. So I gain.

I am so lucky to have Tom and I'm thankful for his support. He's a great sounding board and is willing to listen to me at any time. And he's also willing to change the subject and talk about something else.

* * * * *

Time to get back to the usual trivial stuff!

I'm trying to take good care of my little car. After every drive, I use detailer spray and a microfiber cloth to clean off any bugs before they can destroy the paint. I also clean the windshield, though my skills are still lacking there. I always miss something, but I can't see it until I'm driving. On my way to work this morning, I noticed an area that I'd missed. I tried to ignore it and get back to the business of driving, but my eyes were continually drawn back to The Spot. Gah!

Non-Group Lesson

I was the only one who showed up for the group tennis lesson last night, so I ended up with a private lesson by default. Which sounds like a very good thing, but it wasn't. I don't know why, but I was having such a hard time. I was hitting terribly, especially my backhand. It's definitely more work, being the sole focus of Instructor Tom's attention. He had so much to say that I had difficulty keeping it all straight. If I could remember to do one thing he said, I couldn't seem to do anything else that I needed to.

It was frustrating and left me disappointed and depressed. Then I spent the whole drive home thinking about everything else that depresses me. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself by the time I got to the house. Fortunately, some Xtra Cheddar Goldfish and an entertaining book got my mood turned around.

So-so Weekend

The weekend went by much too quickly. It was kind of busy and structured and not much fun altogether. But since we only have three days to get through until a four-day weekend, I guess I can get over it.

On Friday I visited Dad after work. He wasn't having a very good day. Usually he eats well when I'm there, but he wasn't very interested in his tuna salad, had only one bite of a croissant and ate two strawberries. He did drink all of his milk though. He always enjoys his milk. Mentally, he's been better. Lately he's been saying things that make me wonder if he knows who I am. For instance, last week he saw someone walking past his doorway and he said to me, "That looked liked your dad out there."

On Saturday I went to Orlando for a memorial service. A coworker's husband passed away while they were on a cruise in Greece. Talk about a nightmare! Even though the husband was 20 years older and had a heart condition for even longer, it was still a terrible shock. The service was very nice and I was able to meet many members of Lynda's family. Now I can put a face to the name when she talks about them.

On Sunday Joy and I went to the rehab center to have a Thanksgiving meal with Dad. Turkey, ham and all of the usual trimmings were served in the dining room, which was decorated festively. Unfortunately, Dad didn't feel up to going to the dining room, so the three of us ate in his room. Which was a little crowded and had a slightly funky aroma that kind of took our appetites away.

Termite Turmoil

In the seven years since our house was built, we've had very few pest problems. The worst was a sugar ant invasion in the pantry closet, but some store bought stuff convinced them to move along. (probably to the neighbor's house. Oops, sorry) There was a scorpion in the bathroom once, a frog in the toilet twice and a snake that fell from the sky. And oh yes, a wasp nest in the topiary, which moved to the robellini. We've been fairly lucky, I'd say, because Florida is a very popular destination for the trendier pests.

One of the trendiest is the termite. Just mention the name and people cringe while visions of dollars signs dance in their heads. Yes, Chez Amy and Tom has become one of the more popular stops on the pest club circuit. I have the carpenter ants to thank. And I mean that sincerely.

Sunday evening it was slightly chilly when Tom and I returned from dinner out with his family. We had driven my car, with the top down because we're kind of crazy. After we had been home for a bit, I went back into the garage for something and when I flipped on the light and looked at my car there were five gigantic ants walking around on it. I killed them quickly, and when I told Tom about them he suggested that they might be attracted to the warmth. But every time I checked, for the next two days while the car wasn't even being driven, there were always one or two ants walking around on it.

Ants are pretty darned crafty. Who knows what they can accomplish, once they get organized. One day they're on top of the car, the next day they're inside the car and on the third day they drive away with the car. So I decided to take action and called Middleton Pest Control. We've never used a company before, even during the sugar ant crisis, because they always want you to sign up for regular servicing and I've never felt that we needed it. But I've seen these carpenter ants around before - in the spare bedroom about a year ago and Tom sees them frequently in his workshop - so I thought it might be time to give in and start paying a professional.

Long story short, the inspection yesterday morning revealed termites. The subterranean variety. There is no evidence of damage to the house. They're primarily munching on the mulch and stuff outside. But that's too close for comfort, of course. So I handed over my credit card and signed us up for Subterranean Termite Control Service, Drywood Termite Control Service, once a year Pest Control Service and bimonthly Shrub Service.

So goodbye termites and goodbye carpenter ants. I'm not thrilled about the cost. And I won't be thrilled next year when I have to renew the two termite control bonds. But I am thrilled to have the entire house and yard pest free for a year. The shrub service was something I hadn't expected. Some members of our landscaping family are having a little fungus problem. I'm terrible at taking care of plants. I don't know what to do and tend to put off figuring it out until too late. So now Middleton will come out and make sure everyone is healthy and all I have to do is trim and pull weeds. That suits my schedule just fine.

Mosquito Mayhem

It's been well over a week since we've had any rain, but that isn't slowing down the mosquitos one tiny bit. They are just terrible out at KARS Park, where we play doubles on Tuesdays. I got to the courts fairly early so I thought I would sit in my car and listen to my iPod. Well, I did, but I had to keep the windows closed. The tiny black vampires were looking for blood, even in the bright sunshine. They certainly added a special element to the tennis match. We all dowsed ourselves with insect repellent, and it worked, as far as keeping from being bitten. But mosquitos were swarming all around us for the two hours that we played. Most annoying.

We had fun playing, all the same. It turned out to be a good group of people. We were all playing our best, but having a good time, laughing at ourselves and each other. No one took the game too seriously, threw a racquet or got mad at anyone. Actually, there are very few people on the league like that and they tend to play on the upper courts. Which is one reason I'm happy on the lower courts. Who needs that kind of stress in their extracurricular activities?

Power Supply

The sun goes down really early now. We finished up our tennis lesson practically in the dark yesterday. Instructor Tom didn't think about it being Veterans Day and the lady who collects court fees and turns on the lights wasn't there. We managed to get through our lesson, but the groups that follow ours weren't so lucky.

On the way home from the lesson, I made a quick stop at Circuit City to buy a new camera battery. I have been having bad luck with my tiny camera lately. Both of my batteries simply will not hold a charge. That's why I only took a couple of photos during our trip last month. That and the fact that we were too busy mountain biking. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong with the batteries. They were exposed to severe heat this summer. A clear no-no. I left the camera (plus the extra battery) in my car for a couple of days. Okay, a week. Anyway, when I finally remembered to take it out of the car, the camera wouldn't turn on at all. After sitting on the charger for a very long time, the battery indicator light finally turned green. But within a day or two, the battery was spent. Even if I didn't take any photos. I just hope it is the battery that got damaged. It was expensive enough, I sure don't want to have to replace the camera.

Just… Wow!

I just watched something amazing! Space Shuttle Discovery landed a few minutes ago and I actually saw it fly over. My coworkers and I (along with nearly everyone else in HQ) went outside to listen to the twin sonic booms, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fast moving craft. An eagle-eyed coworker pointed out a tiny white speck gliding through a thin smear of clouds. We watched it grow larger and begin to take form. Discovery moved behind us, where it banked and turned around, then went back over us toward the landing site. At this point it was clearly a shuttle. I could see the familiar shape, the white top and black underbelly. It was one of the most breathtaking sights I have ever witnessed.

* * * * *

So, after weeks of terrible hitting and poor performance, I finally got my tennis mojo back. Well, maybe not completely back, but it's close. Doubles last night was a lot of fun. Despite the swarms of mosquitos and the biting gnats.

Our foursome started playing right at 5:15 and we didn't finish until 7:30. That's a lot of time for just three sets! We had some really close games and a number of deuces that went on forever. The temperature was perfect and there wasn't even a breath of wind. A great night for tennis.